1. To College Freshmen

    If you’re late, participate in class. Your professor will forget that it even happened.

    And they’ll like you so you can be late more often.

     

  2. mikerowavables:

    If you ever find yourself in a Greek tragedy, please, listen to the chorus

    They are always right

    Always

    (via basicallyblake)

     

  3. om1tted:

    more-scars-than-skin:

    its weird society sees people with tattoos and modifications as being unclean and poor when in reality its so expensive to get those things in the first place and the aftercare is strenuous and daily and in reality modified people are probably the most hygienic and well off people you’ll meet

    amen.

    (via merlin-memberys)

     
  4. langleav:

    Engraved on my new iPod. 

     
  5. camsfarts:

    This is a trainwreck

    (Source: kumagawa, via ruinedchildhood)

     

  6. "I wish that you were here, or I was there, or we were together anywhere."
     
  7.  

  8. petercapaldass:

    doctadonner:

    i can’t get in lifts with people because i have a sort of phobia of breathing in people’s breath

    and when i got asked what was wrong by my law teacher (she thought i looked ill) 

    I had to fucking reply “I prefer people when they’re not breathing” 

    image

    image

    image

    (via helloisitmethatyouarelookingfor)

     
  9. (Source: koalatea, via ruinedchildhood)

     
  10. fattygerman:

    How to give head: A guide.

    (via ruinedchildhood)

     
  11. quadguyin-china:

    salt-in-my-hair-and-heart:

    liteskint:

    gigaguess:

    Oh.

    My.

    God.

    B Y E

    Am I allowed to tell this joke at parties??

    She is so satisfied with that joke.

    (Source: acidocasualidad, via ruinedchildhood)

     
  12.  
  13. ridge:

    me as a parent 

    (via spazesdownstairs)

     
     
  14.  

  15. "You are personally responsible for becoming more ethical than the society you grew up in."
    — 

    Eliezer Yudkowsky 

    Being a “product of their times” is no excuse. Never let someone off the hook for bigotry. 

    (via toostoked)

    (Source: abundance-mine, via rokcetsraccoon)